Life: Under Construction

Showers of Superficialism

According to Wikipedia, bridal showers were originally organized by the bridesmaids of a bride who lacked a dowry either because her family could not afford it or because the head of her family chose not to provide it. A shower was therefore a way for a couple of limited means to obtain the items needed to set up in married life. Fast forward a hundred years and bridal showers are still held but instead of providing necessary items they have become a grotesque display of consumerism. 

Saturday morning I found myself standing in the gadget corner of Williams & Sonoma on 7th and 17th. I was searching for a present to take to a bridal shower that I was attending later that day. The friend I was purchasing present loves to cook, so we had all been given the directive to get her something for her kitchen. As I stared at the array of choppers, graters, tomato slicers and specialty can openers, I was hard pressed to find any item that my friend really needed. Eventually I settled on a contraption that stored herbs in a water bath so that they last longer. I got it because I assumed that no one else would get something like it and it was so strange, my friend was unlikely to already have one at home. 

I enjoy buying presents for people and I think that life should be celebrated. For this reason I was glad that I attended my friend's bridal shower, I'm glad that I got to see her mom for the first time in years and meet friends from other parts of her life. What I could have done without was the hour we all spent watching the bride-to-be unwrap ALL her presents. The copious number of presents was overwhelming, and not in a good way. There were candlesticks and crystal-ware, negligees and silk gowns, baking dishes and cupcake mix. While all of the goods were lovely and kindly meant, watching the display I couldn't help but wonder what proportion of these gifts would ever be used. If 50 percent made it back to the bride's apartment, I doubt it if 20 percent would actually be used on a regular basis. Who needs a cupcake caddy?!

Bridal showers are no longer an event where we spend money to support the happy couple in their new lives, they are now an event where we spend money in an effort to prove how much we love and appreciate the couple and they in turn can gauge their worth by the number of presents they receive. I don't mean to unfairly target the soon-to-be married, instead I think they are representative of our society. When children go trick or treating on Halloween, they greedily grab as much candy as their hands can hold, more than they can possibly eat. At Christmas and Hanukkah, kids argue that if they are really loved, they will get their chosen present. Adults are hardly much better with anniversaries and birthdays marking high expectations that require high spending as well. 

Is this madness coming from our own insecurities? Is it a product of mass media? Is this just a sign of the luxury in which we live? Whatever it's source, I can't help but wish we could go back to the good old days when it was the thought that counted. 

Swine Flu: Choose Awareness Over Fear

A few years ago I was hanging out with my friend Keith. At one point in the conversation I turned to him and asked him if he was scared about whatever it was we were discussing, I can't remember what it was precisely and his response was 'I don't think it's about being scared, I think it's about being aware'. It was such a subtle comment that it has stuck with me.

Today marks the first U.S. death from swine flu. The victim was a 23-month old child from Mexico that was taken to Texas. Despite the fact that we as yet have now physical proof of how contagious this disease is in the developed world where health care is of a high standard and readily available, people are manning their panic stations. At my workplace I have seen the crop up of multiple bottles of hand sanitizers as well notices about how to properly sneeze (no, you don't just say 'ACHOOO'...you turn your head away from your friends, bring the crook of your elbow up to your face and then let 'er rip!!). I amazed at the otherwise reasonable people I have encountered who have admitted that they are frightened of getting it.

As Keith said, it's not about being scared, it's about being aware. At it's current state of infiltration, the chances of any one person in New York or California getting swine flu are pretty minimal. While I don't have any figures to back me up, I would assume that there is a greater risk you will be hit by a bus than catch swine. Even if you do catch it, there are treatments for it so that if it is treated early, you are in good shape. Given all this, it seems incredibly premature to start worrying about your 'imminent' death.

That said, as when there is any nasty virus going around, we can become more aware of our habits of hygiene. Washing hands after you go to the bathroom and before meals has always been a good idea but now becomes imperative. Being well-informed about the prospective disease and it's symptoms is probably also advisable, even knowing what to do should you come down with the symptoms might be something you could add to your to-do list...but wearing surgical masks while walking down the streets of New York seems ridiculous, where exactly do these people think they are going to catch this virus from: the sky?!

If I had a megaphone, I would go out on the streets and ask people to find some backbone...since when did panic help a situation?!

Kali

At the end of my yoga practice last night, I took savasana. Usually, I end my practice with a seated meditation because it is so difficult for me to lie on the ground and be comfortable (lower-back woes) but last night I decided to take savasana. Some yoga teachers may instruct students to 'empty their minds' during final relaxation, I find this impossible and tense making so in my own practice I choose to just permit my mind to do whatever it wants...this being an exercise in surrender. Anyway, during my savasana I found myself thinking of Kali, one of the goddesses in the Hindu pantheon of deities. Goddesses represent creation but in Kali's case, she represents creative destruction. What captured my mind during my relaxation was the story of Kali's first appearance.

The story is that there was a demon named Raktabija attacking earth, slaying everything and everyone in his path. The gods attempted to intervene and attacked Raktabija with their weapons, but each time a drop of Raktabija's blood touches the earth, a clone of Raktabija springs up. Soon the gods are not facing one demon, but thousands of seemingly invincible demons. The goddess Durga, wife of Shiva, is at the battlefield. Some versions of the story say that Kali appears out of Durga's third eye, other accounts say that Durga transforms herself into Kali...in any case, Kali appears and she is terrifying to look at. She is black as ashes, with wild hair, the skirt she wears is made out of severed arms and she has 50 severed heads strung around her neck. The gods are so shocked by her appearance that retreat away from the battlefield as she approaches. She faces Raktabija in his thousands of bodies. But before she strikes him, she rolls out her tongue. Her tongue covers the entire battlefield so that as she begins to attack Raktabija, none of his blood falls to the earth and so no new clones are created. Soon the many bodies of the demon lie dead on the battlefield. Kali retracts her tongue and begins to dance on the dead. Her dance becomes crazed, uncontrolled and destructive. The gods fear Kali because they have no way of stopping her. In comes Shiva, Kali's husband and love. Shiva lays himself on the ground among the dead so that Kali dances over him. As soon as she realizes that she is dancing on her beloved, she stops, becomes peaceful and turns back into a beautiful goddess.

What occurred to me last night was the imporatance of Shiva's entry. Kali represents Shakti or action, Shiva represent consciousness. Without consciousness, action is out of control and can destroy the good along with the bad...only when it is united with consciousness can action be tempered and creative.

Just a thought.

Where is your prana going?!

My old meditation and Sanskrit teacher, Manorama, used to always tell us 'Know where your prana is going!' and then she would ask us 'Do you know where your prana is?'. Prana is literally translated as life force but it more broadly refers to energy: mental energy, emotional energy, physical energy and the energy of consciousness. She would always say that we should view prana as a scarce resource. We wake up in the morning with a certain amount of energy, a bucketful of prana as Manorama would say. We then go out into the world and we throw energy away like we have an infinite supply. We wouldn't throw money away like we do our prana, and yet our prana is just as valuable, if not more so.

What made me think of Manorama and her teachings on prana was yesterday, I opened up Typepad to write a blog entry about how horrible harem pants are. While harem pants have been around for awhile, the version they've metamorphasized into this season is especially heinous. Instead of just being baggy trousers that are tied at the ankle, this season's trendy version has them baggy and saggy around the hips and then they narrow around the knee and calf in a way that gives you a diaper-bottom. I saw someone wearing such a pair over the weekend and they looked BAD! I thought it would be a fun idea to share my feelings with the blogosphere in a bitchy entry but as I started to write I suddenly felt that this was not where I wanted to be putting my energy. I did not want to spend 15 or 20 minutes of my life being bitchy, filling my mind with negative thoughts that I was then going to put out into the world.

I am not saying that I will never say an unkind word again or that this blog will never feature a critical entry, but I do need continual reminders to be conscious of where I put my energy. Apart from the fact that you have a limited amount of prana and so should use it wisely, there is also the law of karma to deal with. If you direct your energy in a negative direction, some of that negative energy will stay with you, weighing you down. Alternatively, if you cultivate positive energy, that energy will stay with you and support you. After I closed my Typepad yesterday, having decided not to write about harem pants, I felt heavy and down. Contrast that to the meditation I did later that evening, just 10 minutes of sitting, trying to keep my consciousness focused on my breath and I felt lighter and happier.

Where is your prana going?!

To the Chopping Block it is...

I believe I have previously mentioned my appreciation for reality television shows that feature a cooking competition. Top Chef was first love in this genre and though recent seasons have lost some of their pizazz, I am sure I will still tune in for the next season. I discovered Gordon Ramsay's 'Hell's Kitchen' through it's sister-program 'Kitchen Nightmares'. Sure HK seems to feature a bevy of vulgar, uneducated, inexperienced and often talentless so-called chefs, but watching Ramsay rip them a new one is really the show's main appeal.

Then there is 'Last Restaurant Standing'...this is one of those filler shows that I only watch if it's an choice between that and watching a nature program about the mating rituals of yellow-billed hornbill (it's a bird, people!). LRS is a BBC production, shown in the US on BBC America, and features Raymond Blanc (famed French chef) offering to set up a restaurant with whichever couple makes it through the various challenges that are set. The couples are made up of husbands and wives, fathers and daughters and childhood friends. One member of each couple focuses on front-of-house duties while the other member is in the kitchen acting as head chef. The premise of this show sounds interesting enough but the real downfall comes from Blanc himself. His low-key approach coupled with his limited English and thick accent make any scenes with him both boring and hard work. It would be more dramatic and engaging if he started cursing in French at his hopeless proteges.

Into this mix came 'The Chopping Block', NBC's attempt to get into the reality cooking genre. The set-up was a bit similar to LRS, couples enter the competition in the hopes that they will be the last ones standing and be able to set up a restaurant. The difference in the set up between TCB and LRS is that while the couples on LRS each had their own restaurants to manage during each of the challenges, on TCB, the couples are put onto two teams, each team is in charge of a restaurant. 'The Chopping Block' had one major advantage over LRS...while LRS had a woefully uncharasmatic restauranteur at its head, the Block was helmed by one of the most legendary and imposing restauranteurs in recent memory..Marco Pierre White. He has received the nickname 'Great White' because the way he circles his kitchens, intimidating anyone in his path. But, White also has a big heart and you do feel that his harsh criticism is his attempt to mentor his cheftestants.

The Block seemed to have everything going for it, and yet after only 3 weeks on the air, NBC pulled it due to dismal ratings. Why? I really don't know! I quite enjoyed this show...sure it probably wouldn't win Emmy's but it was a hell of a lot more interesting than watching fatties trying to lose weight or watching ABC make-over someone's house. The Block's cheftestants weren't the most interesting bunch, and as always you wish there was a bit more drama and a bit more of White yelling at people but I would have happily watched more of the show if only to see more of Marco glaring at people and seeing right through them.

One can only hope that US television will develop another vehicle to bring Marco into our homes. Until then, if you like me have become invested in this show and want to see it to its completion, NBC seems to be posting the remaining episodes on Hulu.com. Happy Watching!

To join the I-phone revolution, or not to join...

I have an old school blackberry...it's one of the original ones which was given a number beginning with 7, blackberry is now into the nines. It was actually on it's way out when I bought it, but it wasn't as expensive as the newer models and at the time I was won over by the idea of being able to get emails anytime and anywhere. That feeling faded as the months passed by and acquaintances would look at me with my phone like I was holding an eight-track to my ear and trying to call Neptune. While I realized there was no reason to be ashamed of my phone, it was perfectly functioning and there are people starving in Africa, don't you know?! But as I moved into a more corporate world, where the latest Blackberry sits on every desk and most people have I-phones as well, I began to hide my phone away...surreptitiously cover it with my hand whenever I had to draw up to my ear. I became very adept at checking my phone for messages while it was still in my bag so that the phone didn't have to see the light of day unnecessarily.

As I write this, I am actually feeling ashamed of my shame...how ludicrous that I should worry that people will judge me harshly for having an old phone. What am I actually worried that they will think about me? That I put a higher priority on having nice clothes than I do on having the newest gadget? That I don't have a high-powered job that provides me with the latest gadgets? That I am not independently wealthy or fabulously famous so that buying the latest gadget isn't akin to buying a cup of coffee?

As ridiculous as phone-snobbery is, it exists. It nags at me just as much as nags at anyone else out there. And so I have a choice, do I surrender into it or do I try and stand my ground? The question is pertinent because my contract with my service provider has expired so I am free to either renew my contract and get a Blackberry Pearl which is practical, nice looking but not exactly the newest thing on the market....OR, I can move over to AT&T and get on the I-phone revolution.

Whichever I choose to do, it is a fact of the technology market that what is new today will be old tomorrow. At best I can hope to be part of the 'in' tech crowd for perhaps a few months...until the next new gadget comes out. Whatever vehicle of communication I invest in will soon be passe, so in a year's time would I rather have an out-of-date i-phone or an out-of-date blackberry. On the one hand, in a year's time, i-phones may be the only respectable device to own. On the other hand, if i-phone doesn't take over the world, having an old one may look all the more desperate...like I'm a poser without resources. It would be a bit like owning a DeLorean in the late 80's!

Perhaps what we all should do is realize the futility of staying on trend. Instead we should surround ourselves with gadgets that make us happy, no matter how dingy they be or the fact that their stickers are peeling off...and of course, we can always reming ourselves of the indigent of the world who would probably find our reliance on technology laughable.

Even Miss Cali is entitled to her opinion, because it's just that!

I must be a bit behind the times because I have only just heard of this to-do over the Miss USA pageant. Perez Hilton, gossip-blogger, F-list celebrity and an openly gay man, was a guest judge at the pageant. As such, he was allowed to pose a question to one of contestants during the question and answer portion of the show when the contestants try and prove that they are not just pretty faces, they actually have the acumen to realize how important it is to talk about world peace. Hilton asked Miss California (who was apparently considered a front-runner in the competition) what she thought about gay marriage, namely did she think that the relatively recent legalization of gay marriage in several states was something that should be expanded to other states.

Miss California's response was that she had been raised in household where marriage was defined as being between a man and a woman and so that is what she believed. She actually doesn't say whether she thinks gay marriage should be made legal or more states or less and yet the gay community (most notably, Perez Hilton) has found a new image to hate and Christian conservatives (i.e. Fox News) have found a new person to love and many in the press and pointing to her homophobic answer and saying that that is where she lost the competition to become Miss USA.

Aren't we missing the point here? Wasn't this country founded on the separation of Church and State...that is, we can control what is legal and illegal but those definitions should not be influenced by our own personal beliefs. I almost feel as though those on the Right believe that if gay marriage is legalized in their state, THEY will be forced into one. Of course that is not what happens, the legislation doesn't even force churches to open their doors to gay couples. What it does do, is make a civil union legal between two members of the same sex who are choosing a particular lifestyle.

Miss California is entitled to believe what she wants to believe. The way her response was interpreted as 'she is not in favor of legalizing gay marriage' is part of the problem. Those in favor of gay marriage need to stop making it an issue of homophobia and instead make it an issue of equality. If we need an example we can look at Canada, they have legalized gay marriage and there have been no sightings of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!

I'm a little late but that doesn't mean we can't still celebrate...Life: Under Construction has been around for ONE YEAR (and a few days). On the one hand I do feel a sense of pride that I started something a year ago and, despite a few hiatuses, I am still going. On the other hand, when I started this blog a year ago, it was with the hopes that in a year's time I would be in a different place with a few more things in my life sorted out. Sure, compared to this time last year I have made a few feeble advancements...I am now permanently employed at a company that provides health insurance, I have a gorgeous wardrobe full of office-appropriate attire and my bladder has be trained to retain fluids like a camel. But I am no closer to finding a job that actually makes use of my abilities and I still sleep every night in the same bed that I spent high school in and I am really no closer to figuring out my life.

Perhaps the only constructive thing to come out of this is that I feel absolutely determined to be in a completely different situation this time next year, when my blog is celebrating it's second anniversary.

The Horrors of Thong Sandals

Before I begin, I should start by saying that I hold a deep appreciation for flip flops and sandals in general. Indeed, I would say I probably couldn't survive a summer without them. But, this morning I opened WhoWhatWear.com and what met my eyes was an abomination.

The feature was 'What They Wore: Coachella'. As you would expect of the things worn to an outdoor concert in California, there were a few shapeless dresses, a few Doc Martin boots of the sort I haven't worn since my grunge faze in 6th grade and then there were these:

Sure, they look innocuous enough on their own but they must have been cursed with dark magic because once on, they turn otherwise normal, attractive female feet into flippers!! I'm not talking about the cute flippers of a baby dolphin....I'm talking about the flabby flippers that adorn a full-grown walrus, the sort of flippers that could double as water-skis.

The most offensive piece is the strip of leather that runs from between the toes up to the top of the foot. It essentially divides the foot in half making the big toe and inner arch look like it's own enormous island...ugh!! Who needs this?! And then, of course, this sandal also has an ankle strap which makes your legs look short. I feel sure that whoever designed this shoe must hate feet.

I am writing this blog to send out a plea that no matter how trendy these shoes may become this summer, you will resist wearing in order save your feet some dignity.

Over and out!

I dreamed a dream....we are SO superficial

Susan Boyle is an English, church-worker who lives alone with her cats. She stepped on the stage of the television contest 'Britain's Got Talent' and given her eccentric personality and unattractive appearance, the audience and the judges assumed that this would be another horribly cringe-worthy quest for fame on national TV. How wrong they were. Ms. Boyle opened her mouth to sing 'I dreamed a dream' and the voice of an angel came out. The audience was shocked, some moved to tears by this performance.

Since the airing of the show, a video clip of Ms. Boyle's performance has become all the rage on YouTube. It seems millions of us are shocked with Boyle's appearance could actually have something beautiful about her. The press seems to have latched onto this and are trying to make it into a feel-good story: here's this frumpy old woman who's never been kissed, and she's famous!! Isn't this amazing?!!

While it may prove that there's hope for all of us (hope for what exactly, I don't know) I think this story also shows how superficial we all are. When I watched the video, as Ms. Boyle introduced herself, I saw a loser. From that perception I then assumed that she wouldn't be very talented. How wrong my assumptions were and how sad that I had those assumptions. There are plenty of examples of talent not being associated with beauty...think of all the dappy starlets in Hollywood, or the wimpy computer geeks that develop technologies that revolutionize our world.

Yet in the face of all this evidence, the public's reaction to Ms. Boyle's performance shows that we still think we can spot talent in someone's appearance. Have we really been so brainwashed by entertainment that we believe all geniuses look like Russell Crowe (when he was young, not the flabby, middle-aged porker he's become!!) and all spies look like Julia Roberts?! This is a sad day for humanity!