According to Wikipedia, bridal showers were originally organized by the bridesmaids of a bride who lacked a dowry either because her family could not afford it or because the head of her family chose not to provide it. A shower was therefore a way for a couple of limited means to obtain the items needed to set up in married life. Fast forward a hundred years and bridal showers are still held but instead of providing necessary items they have become a grotesque display of consumerism.
Saturday morning I found myself standing in the gadget corner of Williams & Sonoma on 7th and 17th. I was searching for a present to take to a bridal shower that I was attending later that day. The friend I was purchasing present loves to cook, so we had all been given the directive to get her something for her kitchen. As I stared at the array of choppers, graters, tomato slicers and specialty can openers, I was hard pressed to find any item that my friend really needed. Eventually I settled on a contraption that stored herbs in a water bath so that they last longer. I got it because I assumed that no one else would get something like it and it was so strange, my friend was unlikely to already have one at home.
I enjoy buying presents for people and I think that life should be celebrated. For this reason I was glad that I attended my friend's bridal shower, I'm glad that I got to see her mom for the first time in years and meet friends from other parts of her life. What I could have done without was the hour we all spent watching the bride-to-be unwrap ALL her presents. The copious number of presents was overwhelming, and not in a good way. There were candlesticks and crystal-ware, negligees and silk gowns, baking dishes and cupcake mix. While all of the goods were lovely and kindly meant, watching the display I couldn't help but wonder what proportion of these gifts would ever be used. If 50 percent made it back to the bride's apartment, I doubt it if 20 percent would actually be used on a regular basis. Who needs a cupcake caddy?!
Bridal showers are no longer an event where we spend money to support the happy couple in their new lives, they are now an event where we spend money in an effort to prove how much we love and appreciate the couple and they in turn can gauge their worth by the number of presents they receive. I don't mean to unfairly target the soon-to-be married, instead I think they are representative of our society. When children go trick or treating on Halloween, they greedily grab as much candy as their hands can hold, more than they can possibly eat. At Christmas and Hanukkah, kids argue that if they are really loved, they will get their chosen present. Adults are hardly much better with anniversaries and birthdays marking high expectations that require high spending as well.
Is this madness coming from our own insecurities? Is it a product of mass media? Is this just a sign of the luxury in which we live? Whatever it's source, I can't help but wish we could go back to the good old days when it was the thought that counted.
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