Life: Under Construction

Are jokes always funny?!

via www.nypost.com

Ruth Zafrin got tired of being the butt of her daughter-in-law's jokes which were a staple of her comedy routine. Some mothers-in-law would opt for the passive aggressive approach but not Mrs. Zafrin, she decided to sue her daughter-in-law, Sunda Croonquist, for defamation of character. Unfortunately for Mrs. Zafrin, the judge in the case decided in Croonquist's favor.

While her jokes about her mother-in-law are not legally punishable, that doesn't make them appropriate. The fact is that Ms. Croonquist has chosen to step up on stage, her mother-in-law didn't. Therefore it seems inappropriate to drag a family member's life into your show when they are not supportive. In terms of this blog, it was my choice to write it, not my parents' or my friends' and definitely not my office's. Because of this, I do not write about them or things that happen involving them because that isn't a liberty that I have. It sounds like Croonquist feels too self-righteous on this issue to take a step back and try to think how she would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. If she did this, she might see that kindness dictates she leave her poor mother-in-law out of her act!

Chris Brown Finally Sentenced

via www.nypost.com

Apparently the judge issuing the sentence on Chris Brown for the beating of his then-girlfriend, Rihanna, postponed his sentencing date until she could be sure that the six months of community service he would be serving under his plea agreement would include hard labor. I think the use of force is reprehensible, whether you are using it against someone you know or not (unless the use of force is required for protection). That said, Chris Brown probably received his most severe punishment from the public outcry against what he did. He works in a business where counts for a helluva a lot and it will be some time before people think of Brown without recalling that mugshot of Rihanna's badly beaten face. If previous celebrities' run ins with the law are anything to go by, the community service is not the hard part of the sentence. Where most celebrities fumble is during the extended probation period. They forget when they're out partying that being caught with a little weed or driving a little bit intoxicated will land them in jail serving a felony sentence.
I'm not saying that I think the hard labor in Virginia is over-kill. He beat a woman just because he was angry...that is no excuse. I just find it interesting that the judge in this case feels that grunt work is a necessary part of the punishment.

PETA's 'Save the Whales' Campaign Angers

via deceiver.com

The web is asking the question 'Is this ad offensive?' I think the answer is 'YES'. Referring to obese people as whales is not polite. The fact that it seems to focusing on women who are overweight seems unfair....why should they be singled out when there are just as many fat men around? This is not the first ad to make fun of a group of people so on that count alone, I can't especially criticize this campaign.

What actually really bothers me is the implication that if you go vegetarian, you will lose weight. As we know, in order to lose weight you must consume fewer calories than you burn off. Especially dangerous foods are items that have highly refined carbohydrates in the form of wheat and sugar. This is because these foods are generally engineered to be addictive: once you open a bag of potato chips you probably will not stop eating them until they are all gone. Because the calories from sugar and refined flour have so little nutrition in them, we can eat a lot of them before we feel full. PETA must obviously not recognize this fact because these gluttonous artificial concoctions are generally VEGETARIAN. Think of it: soda, chips, french fries, onion rings, cake, cookies, ice cream, candy, cheese whiz, nachos...walk down the junk food aisle at your local supermarket and you will find plenty of vegetarian options that will help you pack on the pounds.

It may be that PETA has a statistic that says that vegetarians on average weigh less than omnivores. Firstly, the problem with statistics is that you can manipulate them to say almost anything. Secondly, in the case of vegetarians being slimmer (if that is the case and I'm not conceding that it is), it is a case of vegetarianism being correlated with slimness, not causing it. In other words, vegetarians may be thinner not because they don't eat meat but because they are more conscious eaters which is why they became vegetarians. Therefore, in order to 'lose the blubber' people should become more conscious and it shouldn't matter whether meat stays in your diet or not.

I don't think my opinion of PETA could get any lower after all their charades throwing paint at fur-wearers but I was wrong. They have just sunk to a new low with their silliness and unkindness.

Store Owner Shoots 4 Men, 2 Fatally, During Robbery Attempt in Harlem - NYTimes.com

via www.nytimes.com

Local news is alive with this story of a store owner who shot the four men that attempted to come in and rob his store. Two of the assailants are dead, two are injured. The perpetrators entered the store on 125th St planning to use violence to get cash. On entering the store they tried to intimidate the two shop workers that were there. The male worker attempt to fight back and was promptly knocked on his head with a gun. Then these criminals discovered that violence begets violence. In response to the threat that he and his colleagues were under, 72 year-old Charles Augusto Jr. whipped out his Winchester 12-gauge and fired three shots.

First off, what a good shot! Under stress and in a tight situation too! People who would chose violence to take what they want should take note. In addition I hope that this isn't used as an argument for why everyone should have a gun. Had Mr. Augusto not been so quick or so accurate, this could have had a very different ending: one that featured the criminals getting a hold of the Winchester and using it against Augusto and his employees or it could have featured one of his bullets injuring one of his own employees. I grew up shooting Winchester 75's and I have always thought that that experience has given me a necessary respect for guns. I hope others share my respect.

TAXICAB DRIVER, AKIM SAIFUL ALAM, KILLS 8-YEAR-OLD WHILE DRIVING ON CELL PHONE - New York Post

via www.nypost.com

I believe it was last week that I wrote a post about the regulation that prohibits taxi drivers from talking on the phone, even if they are using a hands-free device. This was a regulation that I was previously unaware of and I think it came as news to many other New Yorkers who, like me, had come to accept having a cab driver yapping away in the front of the car as the status quo. In my post I pledged to do my part in enforcing the no cell-phone policy for cabbies as a small way to make this city safer for everyone.

I was completely set on my conviction until I got in a cab later that day and found that may driver was talking. He wasn't talking loudly, he wasn't driving erratically. Frankly, I felt awkward about making a fuss and being so demanding of someone who makes a pretty meager wage. Obviously, I should get over myself. Yesterday a cabbie talking on his phone struck and killed a boy up in Harlem. The boy was crossing the street with his mother, the light was in their favor when Akim Saiful Alam crashed into him. The cabbie was so involved with his conversation that he didn't even realized what had happened until other pedestrians signaled to him. If ever we needed a reason to crack down on cell-phone use, this is it.

Well distractions are obviously a problem among cabbies, I think it only underlines the fact that we are trusting minimum wage employees with our lives. The city should really consider, selling more medallions so that the value of them goes down. Then more of the fare could go to the driver instead of to the medallion holder and we could try and attract drivers with more experience and more care. (I don't mean to criticize all cab drivers, a lot of them are responsible and good drivers but there are also plenty who drive like bats out of hell!)

Trousers Nix Travel Plans

Yesterday, I wrote a post commenting on France's restrictions on swimwear, today I was glancing through Yahoo's Odd News page looking for something amusing when I came across something that was not amusing at all. Lubna Hussein was at a party with some other women back in July when she and 12 others were arrested for being indecently dressed. Hussein lives in Sudan where a woman's indecency is a criminal issue. The problem for Sudanese women (apart from living under an oppressive religious regime) is that there is no clearly defined definition of indecency. This means that police officers can use their own discretion in arresting women on these grounds. Hussein currently faces 40 lashes for wearing trousers on that night. While she is in the midst of trying to fight this case, Hussein as a journalist was invited abroad. She got to the airport only to find that the government had put her name on a blacklist that prohibited her from being allowed to travel. Hussein is now stuck in Sudan. Who knows if her name will be removed from the list once this case is settled in court.

Stories like this make me very thankful that I live in a world where women have choices and am not subject to the objectifying notions of sexist men. I for one am hopeful that Lubna gets the support she needs to beat this wrap. Going back to France's fight against Islam that I began discussing yesterday, I think the problem with having the swimwear restrictions that they do and making an issue about girls wearing head scarves to school, is that it actually makes France seem just as fervent and unaccepting as the countries whose influence they are trying to keep out. Sudan forbids trousers, France forbids burkinis while French citizens have much more freedom than Sudanese, on this issue at least, they seem similar. Given the disdain with which France seems to regard nations that are ruled by religion, you would think they would want to prove that they are nothing like them. 

Come on France, whatever happened to 'Liberté, Equalité, Fraternité'...rise above these petty issues!

Tawdry Twitter

During the circus that was Paula Abdul's departure from American Idol last week, one of the weirder aspects of it all was the report that Paula's announcement on Twitter that she would 'not return to #IDOL' was the first people at AI had heard of her leaving. Before her tweet, executives at AI assumed that they were still in negotiations to bring her back. Once the tweet was publicized, the AI execs decided to accept the tweet as an official resignation. I suppose this speaks to the power of Twitter but I'm curious if there is something about Twitter I have not been forewarned about.

Ever since I created my twitter account a couple months ago, every once and awhile I will get a follower request from someone who either has a link to their S&M website, has written about their FemDom inclinations or has a link to 'NEW NUDE PROFILE'. Needless to say, I do not only deny their request to see my tweets, I also block them in the hopes that that means they won't be able to find me on Twitter. What puzzles and slightly astounds me is that there seem to be so many of these people on Twitter, or else, perhaps it is small number of weirdos who are all on the hunt to find young women who operate on Twitter and do not have any sexual abnormalities or a need to show their titties to the world! 

I'm not sure how to advertise on Twitter than I am only interested in following and being followed by people I actually know, publications that have Twitter accounts that I am interested in or people that seem sane and keep their sexual escapades to themselves, but I need to figure out how to get the word out there. Getting these requests from sexual deviants is just too unseemly for 9 o'clock in the morning!

Tourists or Trouble-makers?!

It has been confirmed that three American citizens are being detained in Iran. The story is that the Americans had been hiking in the Kurdish border hills of Iraq and had unwittingly strayed into Iran. Apparently the Ahmed Awa tourist resort is known for beautiful vistas, including waterfalls. This is no doubt the tale these Americans told their Iranian captors but I would argue that they were not in Iraq to sight-see, they were in Iraq and later Iran looking for trouble!

My reason for saying this is that there are pleanty of gorgeous and exotic locations travelers can visit, it is a very particular type of traveler that would choose to visit such an unstable region of the Middle East. I think it is no coicedence that one of the detained Americans is described as a freelance journalist. I take this to mean that he was traveling in search of a story. Given this, these Americans can hardly complain that they were detained by Iran...they wanted a story, they were looking for action and they have gotten it.

Now the US government is asking its allies to negotiate for the release of the detainees. Valuable diplomatic skills that could be used for other endeavors are now being used to try to get them released. While I would not wish the horrors of Iranian prisons on anyone, the fact is, these Americans unlawfully (even if unknowingly) entered Iran, a nation that has a very tense relationship with their homeland. Why is anyone surprised that they were detained?! Also, given their lack of care and caution, why shouldn't these Americans spend a little time in jail?! Many Americans are outraged at the way South Americans infiltrate their nation, paying no respect to the border that divides us from them, how is that so different from the reaction of Iran to these wandering opportunists.

At the end of the day, travelers should beware. You make your bed by deciding where to go and what to do. It should come as no surprise that at the end of the day, you will have to lie in that bed conceived of too little heed and caution.

Save a flush and piss yourself!

A Brazilian advertisement is circulating the web currently and getting a lot of attention because the advertisement is promoting saving water by flushing the toilet one less time each day. How do the Brazilians want to achieve this feat? My peeing in the shower. Yes, you read correctly. I find the video hilarious, here's a link to it. Enjoy!!

While I don't think I will be urinating in my tub any time soon, it did get me thinking about other things we could cut out to save resources. It occurred to me that if A/C in cars was not allowed in Manhattan, it would both save energy for those cars as well as make the city a cooler place. We've all found ourselves standing on a hot and sweaty street corner when a bus has driven past. You didn't think you could get any hotter but then the bus passes you blows its sticky, warm, spent air onto you and you realize that there is indeed another level of hell.

This is why I think we should ban A/C in cars and buses and just allow windows to be open so that people can catch a breeze as they mosey along. I would also like ceiling fans to be installed above the uptown, 6th avenue platform at the West 4th Street station. Not because it would save move or energy but because it would save my sanity!

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned

I just came across an odd news story, if it can be called news, on the Guardian's website. A Lothario was tied to a bed in Wisconsin and then had his penis SUPER GLUED to his abdomen.  The perpetrators of this assault included women the victim had scorned: his wife and two of his girlrfiends. This Don Juan had been stepping out on his wife, meeting other women on Craigslist. He had convinced both of his lovers to give him money and also pay for the use of hotel rooms. One of these lovers, Therese Ziemann, discovered that her Prince Charming was in fact married AND had other girlfriends. She then contacted the other women in this man's life and came up with a plan whereby she would lure dear Romeo to a hotel room and tie him up, giving him the excuse that she wanted to give him a massage. Ziemann then got her accomplices to join her. It was then that they whipped out the super glue and did the dirty deed. The women left him there. Eventually he freed himself and called the police. The jilted women now face charges for imprisoning their former lover as well as for the assault of his manliness. 

I don't condone violence as an answer to any problem. That said, I hope these women get off easily. My reasoning is this: currently there is no real disincentive to philandering. Of course there is the 'love' argument: that if your significant other finds out you cheated you will be hurting someone you love and possibly ruining your relationship. For people with no resources that can be threatened in divorce proceedings, there is little stopping them from convincing themselves that their spouse will never know. For people like that, it might make them think twice about frollicking outside their marriage if they are concerned that, if caught, they have to worry about retribution. 

Of course, victims of cheating spouses don't need to reach for the super glue. I think that we should consider bringing back the stocks for these non-criminal offences. Can you imagine an unfaithful husband being put up in the town square so that angry women could curse at him and throw eggs? Public humiliation is definitely a path to be considered here...it is completely cost-effective and would provide the sort of disincentive that we would need to control men with roving eyes!

*Please note: no men were harmed in the writing of this post. If it hasn't already become clear, I have a very dry and slightly odd sense of humor.